Spectacled Bear (Tremarctos ornatus)
Date: Sun, 08 Feb 1998 01:33:25 -0700
SOME VERY FUNNY ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES
Are you bored with that tired old "We're not home right now, please
leave a message but." Well here are some novel new messages for you
to try. It will both amuse your friends and family, and keep them
1) Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you
are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I
have plenty of money
3) "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message
to myself with one of these magnets."
6) "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and
their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and
don't need their picture taken. They are also VERY happy with their
current phone service. If you're still with me, leave your name and
number and they will get back to you."
9) "If you are a burglar calling to check, then we're probably at
home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a
10) "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
11) "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your
voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later
use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound
of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral
purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However
our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near
future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange
for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound
of the tone. Thank you."
File To Comment: animal5/rarebear.jpg
in spanish, this bear is named FRONTINO, ANDINO
(from the Andes, or OSO DE ANTEOJOS (some like bear with glasses)